Hello Again

Well, here we are 4 years later and I am no further in my blogging than I was before. I am even more mature, my kids are 26 and 24, I am living in Utah-Salt Lake area, and have a full time job. Woo Hoo!

I am trying to remember who I wanted to be when I grew up. That dream is gone-and was when I married- had planned to be an artist by night and a teacher by day. I was NOT going to be a SADIE- a married lady with kids. But never say never, I became what I always feared. I knew if I married and had kids that would become my passion and I would lose my dreams.

Well, that did happen, I would not have it any other way. I have 2 highly intelligent, productive offspring who have never even hinted that we should appear on a daytime talk show for dysfunctional families.Oh, I'm saying we are not dysfunctional, we are, but so is everyone else....we just don't need help on national TV to deal with it.

Right now I would like to find my passion again and take on the world like I had planned so long ago. I wanted to create something that people could look at and enjoy or want for their own or be encouraged to share with others. I am a fiber artist to a certain extent. I want to move further into that world but I am frustrated with the fear and self doubt that I have holding me back. There is a place in the world for everyone, I believe. I am trying to talk myself into getting on with life. My kids have! I am whining that I don't have a clear path in my life.

I was thrown a curve ball 8 years ago when my husband of 21 years had a heart attack at the age of 44 and left me when he had specifically told me he would never leave me. Well, there's never again! I finished raising up the youngest, helped the oldest get to community college and on to the university of her choice, then did the same with her brother,The empty nest I was soooo looking forward to was staring me in the face and I did not know what to do with myself...I had been a partner for too many years to think about this next step in life on my own.Then best friend a girl can have suggested relocation and now I am staring at mountains with snow still on them in June.( A real change from San Diego for 30 years!) 

I have found that this community is so different from anything I have encountered as an adult. The fact that I am not remarried throws people off. I am NOT a grandmother, I am well read and educated, I have some really liberal ways of thinking and don't mind voicing my "different" opinions often. Some of this reminds me of trying to talk to my Mother in the 1970"s!

I am in the unique position to be anything I want to be and I am trying. I dye my hair a "controversial color, I drive a pick up truck, I do not go to church but am spiritual, I am my own person as I have never been before. I just need to take the next step and fling caution to the wind and be an artist, even it is only me who thinks I am!

Thanks for stopping by and listening!

Theresa